Unknown Feelings
by liulishu
Summary: set 3 years after the events of god eater burst. the protagonists finds that her fellow buster blader and crush happens to be sick. she makes sure soma is well taken care of, whether he likes it or not. as he is a stubborn prick, cold as ice, she knows that he is different from what other people see. Soma x protagonist. prologue to the story: confessing before death.


My first GEB fanfic! The characters are based on a 3 year time skip after the events of god eater burst, which is the official manga for god eater : the 2nd break. Sorry for the lack of fluffiness. I wanted to post it up today so I was rushed when writing this. School restarts tomorrow, major bummer. D:

I can't help but notice the lack of soma fanfics! So, I decided to write this!

DO REVIEW GUYS! TELL ME WATCHA THINK!

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Protagonist's p.o.v.

My alarm sounded annoyingly, making me stir around my bed even more, seeking refuge under the thick blankets. In the end I had given up on trying to sleep, getting up and walking to the bathroom. I stare at my reflection in the mirror, dark circles forming under my eyes.

The recent solo missions usually came in at night, making me lose my time for sleeping.

I comb my coral blue hair and styled it into a high ponytail, leaving a few strands of my bangs covering my face.

I slip into my usual combat attire, a pair of assault pants in the color black, a white long sleeved collar shirt, and a white coat that reached mid thigh, with the official fenrir logo at the back of it. On my right wrist was a bulky red armlet, a proof of my job.

I walk out my room, and lock the door.

I turn to stare at the other rooms beside me. That's right; I have a mission today with soma, alisa and sakuya.

Soma.

I find myself thinking a lot lately about the platinum blonde buster blader. Ever since the first time I met him, I find myself absent-mindedly caring for him.

He's just afraid of losing the people close to him. That's what lindow had told me when I first met him. And because of that, I've learned to get to know him better, through many rejections and complains he gave me in our earlier days, we were finally on good terms.

I turn to his door which was just a few doors beside my room, and gently knocked on it.

The platinum blonde answers the door, looking paler than usual, with a harsh voice saying "what do you want?"

"Don't be so mean, soma. You know I wanted to check up on you since we have a mission later." I reply with a smirk.

"geez, troublesome as always." he replies sighing.

3 years has passed since his father, the previous director has passed away. Johannes was planning the ark project, total rebirth of the earth he said. Thanks to our efforts, we had successfully stopped his plan. But shio…the only one who made soma smile…was now gone.

My heart ached a little at the thought of soma's affection towards shio. It never was a place for me to barge in.

I turn to stare at soma as he lets me into his personal quarters, used to my actions of "invading personal space". He had ditched the blue hood of his, now wearing a black collar shirt matched with his white tie, grey jeans and the white coat with the official fenrir logo at the back.

He's platinum blonde hair now longer than before, covering each part of his face except for his sea blue eyes.

He coughs a little and turns over to the table to get a glass of water.

"Hey, you ok soma?" I ask in a worried tone.

He gives a nod and sits down on the sofa.

Not satisfied with his answer, I walk up to him, only to sit beside him on the sofa. Then carefully reaching my hand out to his forehead, pulling a few strands of his hair aside.

"h-hey, what are you doing?" he asks with a surprised tone as his cheeks shade a tint of pink.

I put my hand on his forehead, measuring the temperature.

"You're having a fever aren't you?" I say to him with serious eyes.

"it's none of your business." He replies coldly as he smacks my hand away from his forehead.

I ignore the aching pain in my chest from his actions.

"of course it's my business, soma. I'm your leader remember? And you are definitely not in shape to attend any missions for the time being." I say sternly.

"you're not a medic, don't judge my health." He says with a frown.

Sigh, stubborn as always.

"I may not be a medic but at least I do know what the average human temperature is. And you're temperature, is not average." I reply sighing.

"I'm fine. And I'm going on today's mission." He says rejecting everything I just said.

"Soma, you are not fine. I'm getting kota to substitute you for our mission today. If you even dare to leave this room I am chaining you to the bed." I reply with a stern voice.

"just leave me alone." He says coldly.

"you will have to do more than hurtful words to chase me out of your room, soma." I reply as I hold his hand grabbing him over to his bed.

He turns to stare at my hand that was chaining his arm. He blushes a little shade of pink and quickly shrugs it off.

I let go of his arm.

"take your coat off, you need some sleep." I say to him.

"who said I was going to sleep?" he says frowning.

I glare at him with my upmost pressure, forcing him to succumb to my motherly senses.

He takes his white coat off, and looks at me.

"geez, you act like a kid, soma." I say as I reach up to his collar, undoing the tie.

He stares at me as I undo his tie.

"why are you even doing this?" he asks.

"that's because we're comrades, soma. Don't you even know why I care about you?" I say finally taking off his tie.

He slips into his bed, sea blue eyes still staring at me.

I take a seat next to him, smiling at him.

"you can go now, leader." He says trying to shoo me off.

"no can do, you might run away don't you think?" I reply.

He frowns a little more not satisfied with my answer.

"Don't you have meetings to go to?" he asks again.

"Not today, soma." I reply trying to annoy him.

A low growl could be heard underneath the blankets.

Soma's face turns a dark shade of red.

"HAHAHAHAHA-PFFTTT-HAHAHAHA!" I burst out laughing not controlling the overwhelming emotions.

I pick up myself from the floor once I was done laughing. I wipe a tear away from my eyes and stand up.

"so, soma, what would you like for breakfast?" I ask with a sheepish grin.

He stares at me with a questioning look.

"you can cook?" he asks with a puzzled look.

"well, I'm not exactly good at it, but at least I'm better than alisa when it comes to cooking." I reply.

( in god eater: the 2nd break manga, alisa's cooking….well, the fish just looked like ash to me.)

He thinks about what he would like to eat in his mind for a few moments.

"well?" I ask him.

"porridge…" soma mumbles in a low voice.

"porridge it is!" I say as I walk over to the door.

_After what seems like hours…_

I firmly hold the tray in both of my hands. The tray had a bowl of porridge and a few fever curing pills.

I gently turn the knob of the door as I walk in to soma's room.

I put the tray on the table as I walk over to the bed.

"Took you long enough…" he manages the mumble in a low voice.

He looked paler than before. That wasn't a good thing, I'm pretty sure soma's skin color was tanned, and now he's face looked somewhere near milky brown.

I turn to bite my lower lip, it was a habit that I did whenever I was worried.

"I'll go get you a towel, wait for a bit." I say as I walk over to the bathroom.

Taking a damp cloth and slightly soaking it in water, I quickly put it on top of soma's forehead. Hoping it will cool his temperature.

He's tired sea blue eyes gaze at me.

"here, take some pills." I say as I help him get up into a sitting position on the bed.

I hand him the pills and a glass of water. He gulps it down with ease.

I hold the bowl of porridge in one hand, the other hand holding the spoon.

"say ahh." I say with a serious yet slightly shy tone as I shove the spoonful of porridge in front of him.

He turns to the side to his blush and mutters " I can do it myself…"

I laugh a little at his facial expression.

"c'mon soma. We both know you're sick, shouldn't you let the leader take care of you for once?" I say convincing him to let me feed him.

He sighs and opens his mouth.

I let the spoon reach inside his mouth, feeding him gently.

He would sometimes take occasional glances at me, and sometimes I would too.

The process repeated until the bowl was now empty and the buster blader was finally rested on his bed.

I can see him slightly drifting off to sleep, tired eyes blinking occasionally.

"I'll go wash the dishes." I say as I get up.

Before I could walk away, his hand catches hold of my wrist.

My heart skips a beat at the skin contact.

I turn to face him asking "yes?"

He looks around the room, uncomfortable with the situation he's in.

"t-thank you….." he manages the mumble.

My heart flutters at the words.

I smile sweetly back at him.

"You're welcome, soma." I reply with a smile.

He let's go of my hand, and I feel a little disappointed.

I walk out of the room.

After finishing the dishes I walk back up to soma's room.

Walking out of the elevator to the veteran's section, I see lindow and sakuya.

"hey you guys!" I say to the two.

"hey, rookie! Wait, i'm still not used to calling you leader, huh?" lindow says.

"nah, it's okay! I prefer rookie anyway!" I reply to lindow.

"so, I heard from alisa that kota's joining us on our mission today. What happened?" sakuya asks.

"oh…..soma got sick." I replied.

"what? That kid just doesn't learn how to take care of himself does he?" lindow says.

"then are you taking care of soma?" sakuya asks.

"well…sort of! Who's going to take care of him if he can't take care of himself right?" I say smirking.

"well, gotta go! I need to check up on soma! See you later, sakuya!" I say as I wave goodbye.

"didn't expect soma agreeing on getting taken care of." Said lindow scratching the back of his head.

"well, she is our leader. And she's no longer a rookie anymore….she's turned out to be one hell of a leader." Sakuya replies.

"I wonder what soma thinks of her…" lindow says.

I walk in to soma's room. Before I could ask about how he's feeling, I hear the calm noise of he's snoring.

I walk over to the side of his bed, getting a closer look at the now asleep assault corporal.

He's eyes shut closed, and mouth slightly open. He's platinum blonde hair now cascading his face.

You don't look so grumpy when you're asleep, soma.

He looks so peaceful sleeping…. Like a child.

It's hard to believe that the man before me was now 21. He's grown taller hasn't he? Soma was now a head and a half taller than me. And to be exact, he was 2 years older than me.

It's already been 3 years huh….time flies….

_I remember so much of this scene, the scene where we stood on the platform of the city of mercy. The scene…where you found Shio, and I realized, that Shio meant so much more than I could ever be. The slinet wish_

"_you've probably already realized this…" soma says gazing at the sunset. _

"_But the aragami with the special core that the director wants us to find…it's gotta be shio."_

"_All my life I've let that s.o.b. father of mine put me on these search missions, but no way…no way am I going to hand Shio over to that bastard!" soma says with rage in his eyes._

_The way he talks about Shio…makes my chest ache._

_He holds his buster blade to my neck, as if threatening me._

"_Don't get me wrong, I don't like the way he manipulates Shio and me like we're his goddamned toys." He replies with a strict frown._

_I turn to stare at him, my scarlet red orbs staring right back at his sea blue eyes._

"_Come to think of it, I jabbed you with my sword the first time we met huh? Back then you were just a rookie, and now you're a leader." He says with one of his rare smiles. _

_Was that a compliment?_

_I smile back at him, not denying the compliment._

"_shio's gotta be somewhere around here. Let's go look for her. don't let your guard down." He says the last sentence as if it were a command. _

_After beating the aragami, we approach a few dead ogretails._

_A faint sound of humming could be heard._

_We both turn around trying to find the source of the sound._

_And at the top of the carrier, near Aegis Island, was Shio humming a soft tune. _

_A few tear drops fall down shio's cheek. _

"_I wonder…what this is….i don't… like this one…" she says rubbing her eyes._

"_because it's a song of parting." Soma says suddenly._

"_I'll never see my loved one again…that's what it says…" soma says gazing at shio._

_His voice, full of comfort and gentleness. _

"_a song of..parting? but..we did meet again!" said shio gazing back at soma._

"_jeez, that's because I came looking for you!" soma replies with a smile._

_My heart ached at the sentence. _

"_Let's go home shio." Soma says._

"_okay." Shio says smiling._

_Weird tattoos of blue appeared all over shio's body. _

"_arghhhhh!" shio says yelping._

"_shio!" Soma says worried._

A tear drop slides down my cheek. I clench my fists.

_Why am I even crying?_

"ne….soma….do you miss shio?" I whisper to myself.

"shio was the only one….to ever have made you smile…she was the only one…that made you seem happy…." I whispered to myself again.

"Are you lonely now without her? Was it heartbreaking..? When she asked you to devour her aragami body…?" I whisper as tear drops fell again.

"_Please, please eat it!"_

"Was it hard, living with the bias factor? Without something complete like a family?" I whisper again.

"_I know too little about you…_but please_.._Don't blame yourself. Your mother didn't die because of you, you were born…to save this world from the aragami. Your father didn't die because of you; he forced himself upon death for launching the devouring apocalypse- arda nova. " I whisper.

"Even if you won't return these feelings, even if it was just my one-sided feelings all along, please…soma. Don't blame yourself for everything that has happened." I whisper to myself as a teardrop fell across my cheek.

I pull his platinum blonde hair behind his ears. Gently stroking his hair, I stood up, and pulled my hand away.

Taking one last look at the buster blader, I walk towards the door with only one thought in mind.

_I love you, soma. _

And I walked out of the room, only my mission in mind.

* * *

Was it….a little too one-sided? There might be a major epilogue or part 2 or something….i guess?

Well, if you wanted to know, I'm still onto story 53 of god eater burst, there's like 17 to go? But I do know where the story progresses, I watched all the story scenes using my brother's completed GEB account.

So, did you like it? It was sort of more….one-sided love don't you think? But you know, this is just the starting right? xD **do review though~ I love reviews~ :D**

and i purposely left out the name of the protagonist, well. because i still can't decide on one**. **


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